I write a lot about Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden. It does not matter whether this story is true or not, it is the best illustration ever written about what happened to us and why we have such trouble with relationships today. I want to write how I think they would have thought once they had eaten from the tree and had their eyes open to good and evil, and experienced shame.
Shame is the feeling and carrying on through the principle of the Original Lie, the feelings have to be triggered by a thought. Adam and Eve would not have been aware of what was happening to them. They were just overwhelmed by the experience they were having of their eyes being opened. I believe their thoughts would have been something like these.
“We were only given one rule to obey and we could not even do that.” “God trusted us and we have let Him down.” “He is going to be so disappointed in us.” ” How will He be able to love us now we have disappointed Him.” “He will be very angry.” “We are pretty useless doing what we have done.” “We aren’t worth very much if we can’t even keep one small rule.”
So the first Original Lie was planted. It could have been a OL of unlovableness, or one of worthlessness. I am slowly learning about the different types of OLs. The OL is planted by what is called in AA “stinking thinking”. And by letting this kind of thinking take root in our minds and stay there and become what we believe about ourselves. Fighting the Lie is about getting this kind of thinking about ourselves out of our subconscious and filling it with the truth. Because we all have stinking thinking even though we may be totally unaware of its existence. No one escapes. We all have it. Just as we all have an Original Lie planted in us as Adam and Eve did.
Because the OL is greatly exaggerated once it takes hold, Adam’s and Eve’s OLs would have been something like “what a useless person I am. I could not even do one small thing that I was asked to do. How could God ever love me again. I am a waste of space.” Of course, because Adam and Eve were unique individuals and their OLs would have been different, Eve’s would have possibly been more like “God has been so good to me and I have let HIm down. What a disappointment I must be to Him. I am really not worth His love.”
Are you aware of your own particular wrong thinking? I teach people to watch their reactions to what I call triggers. Triggers are where your feelings are aroused, especially when it is a strong reaction. The feelings may be anger, tears, fear, anything where you are suddenly overwhelmed like Adam and Eve were by their shame. Watch next time you have a reaction and work it backwards by asking yourself a series of questions about the feelings. “What is the anger saying to me about who I am?” “What are the tears trying to get me to think about myself.” “What is the shame saying about what I really believe about myself.”
It is the thoughts we have to come to recognise. Only thoughts can be healed. Feelings cannot be healed. But thoughts are far harder to find and to recognise. Keep asking yourself questions about what the feelings are telling you about what you are believing about yourself deep inside. You will find answers.
Write down whatever comes into your mind. This is your subconscious communicating with you.
More later.