A Very Ugly Word; BLAME

I love the story Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Every problem that communication and relationships suffer from today has it’s roots back there when these two ate a piece of fruit from a tree they were told not to eat from. They had a garden filled to overflowing with an abundance of fruit of every kind. Just one tree they were not to eat from. But we all know the ending. The serpent tempted Eve to want to eat from the tree. Then she tricked Adam into eating. And humankind has suffered ever since. This week it has come back very strongly how important the consequences of what they did are to the maturity of every human who has lived since and up to every human alive today.

Of course I talk about the Lies we carry around inside us that came originally into Adam and Eve from the disobedience of the one act. There was no negatives in the Garden. And suddenly there was lies and the biggest problem to come from eating; BLAME. Before eating they lived by an incredible principle God taught them. Every thing that happened to them was just a learning experience. If they tried something in the garden or in their relationship, and it worked, they learnt. But if they did something that did not work, they still just learnt. There was no condemnation in the garden. Everything was for them to learn from. God had told them to tend and keep the garden and the animals. Sometimes they did not get it right. But they did not blame each other or the weather, or anything else. They just learnt a better way to do it.

But after they ate from this tree of the knowledge of good and evil, Blame came in. Adam blamed God and Eve. “The woman you gave me.” Eve of course blamed the serpent. “The serpent made me do it.” But the truth was and is, each was responsible to be obedient to one simple command. Do not eat from this particular tree. Everything will always go well if you just do not eat from THIS tree. They were able to not blame before eating from THIS tree. Now they could not. And the world today thrives on BLAME. Even in the simplest problems, in our own lives, everyone does it. It is the hardest thing for humans to just say, “Yes I did that and I should not have. But it is the key to maturity. It is the key to wholeness. It is the absolute key timepiece in ourselves. It is the most freeing thing we will ever do. Don’t give the serpent a toehold. Just say “Yes I did not do that correctly.” That leads to the next step they practiced in the garden. What can I learn from this experience that will help me to get it right next time. We have had an incredible example this week of how the lies inside us, so deeply hidden, can still control us even after years of fighting the lies and learning.

I was so blessed because the Lord Jesus was my teacher. He did not pull any punches with me. He told it to me straight. Even though you have has an incredibly abusive childhood, and even though you are married a man who does not treat you as you should be treated, if you continue to look at what your parents and your husband have done to you and continue to do to you, YOU WILL NEVER GET WELL. You must stop the blame and only look at what you have contributed to the problem. You must take the whole responsibility for what has happened. It is simple, even though the man you are married to does dreadful things, if you will look at what you are contributing to the problem, you will get free and become well. And it worked. I became well and he didn’t. Because even after he left the marriage, he continued to ring me up every now and again and tell me how horrible I was For thirty years. Even after he had remarried. Bur I always only focused on the fact that what I had contributed to the dysfunction of the marriage would have caused it to fail anyway. What did I contribute? I was always sick, always unhappy, never a joy to be around, withdrawn, blaming his drinking for all the problems. So for three years I focused on just looking at my deficiencies, and I blossomed in the situation. He still left the marriage. Today we are friends. But he has not looked at himself and what he has done wrong in any situation in his whole life, and so does not have what I have. Abundant Life. Deep happiness. Peace. Health. Laughter.

A young friend this week after years of walking in the principles I teach, discovered she had not embraced the principle of only looking at herself. She looked at another person and it was because the lie in side her caused her to. And she lost her peace. But God had set the situation up to teach her this very important issue. What did your lie cause tyou to do wrong in the situation. When the answers came she has had revelation after revelation. And has in a day achieved more than all the previous years. She is now in a place of freedom she will never come out of.

God says He does not hold any responsible under the age of twenty. But once we turn twenty, we are responsible for every thought, every feeling, every action. Us and us only. It does not matter what the other person does. We are responsible for our own stuff. Once we come to fully accept this, we are on the path to freedom. The quicker we accept and stop any and all BLAME, the quicker we become free. We cannot return to the physical place called the garden of Eden, but we can return to the way Adam and Eve lived there in peace and fulfilment and happiness, until serpent interfered.

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