Two Kinds Of Pain

Experiencing pain is unfortunately a condition of living in this world. No-one misses out completely. However the good news is that we can do things to help ourselves when we are living with pain. I am talking about emotional pain. Physical pain is a different scenario. But dealing positively with emotional pain can help with physical pain.

There are two kinds of emotional pain; one does not lead to healing and one does. The first one is very painful and can lead to depression, and even suicide. It is the kind of pain where there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Or the going around the mountain over and over again. Or where you can describe your thoughts as can of worms. It is absolutely unproductive pain. The second is emotional pain that slowly produces growth and healing.

What is the difference between the two.

It is our attitude towards the pain that makes the difference. If you have an attitude that says “I don’t deserve all that has happened to me “, or “Why do I have to suffer all this pain”? you will suffer the first first kind of emotional pain, the totally unproductive pain. Unfortunately we quite often, or actually always, don’t deserve what has happened to us. And our cry of “Why” is legitimate. However these attitudes do not help us to grow through the pain.

Be aware, when I make statements in my writings, it is because these are things I have suffered, and found the answers to the hard way. But I am walking proof that what I write works. It is our attitude to what life throws us and to pain that makes the difference between healing and needless suffering. But in order to come to healing, we have to be willing to suffer the pain. Watchman Nee calls it having a mind to suffer. No-one likes to suffer, but if you can find that healing can come from having the right attitude to it, you can find healing. I have proved it.

We can have an attitude to pain that is fearful of the pain itself. But pain is only pain. Of itself it cannot harm us. It is the thoughts about ourselves because of our fear of the pain that are dangerous; i.e. “I cannot live like this any more. It is too painful.” Or we can see the pain as being from a source outside ourselves; i.e. parents, satan, significant others who have hurt us. This takes away our power over the situation and makes us powerless. Or the question “Why”? that robs us of choice.

However, if we can change our negative attitudes to “What can I learn from this?” or ” How can I use this pain to solve the problem that is causing the pain?” we can begin to learn to deal with the pain positively and begin the journey to pain that heals.
We will find that the pain becomes less painful and becomes productive. It is what we do with the pain that is the difference between chaos and growth.

It is the difference between negative and positive heart attitudes. Pain usually comes from an event we have no control over. Therefore dwelling on why we are experiencing it is not productive.

The one thing we do have is choice. We can decide what our attitude to suffering will be. “Choose you today Life or death.” This means emotional life and death. It really is that simple. When you come to a place where suffering is inevitable, you come to a place of choice. It is up to you whether you make it a place of destructive pain or healing pain. Once when a valuable relationship broke down for me, I told myself I would only allow myself 7 days to grieve and then I must put it away. I grieved only 6 days and on the seventh day, I was okay again. Whenever you look at the reason for your pain as being outside yourself; i.e. from damage your parents did, events that were beyond your control, satan, you will suffer unnecessary, unproductive pain. We all need to take responsibility for the condition we are in right now, and know we can chose to change it. No, we did not cause our pain, but we are totally responsible for staying there.

Of course it is about Fighting the Lie inside our minds and healing our minds. next blog.

Read my book, “And His Bride Has Made Herself Ready.” I have walked through immense pain. I can talk the talk.

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