There is an equation Jesus taught me that works, and that you will need to put into practice in the fight to become whole. It is that it is our thoughts that cause our feelings which then causes our behaviour; our reactions and our actions. We are usually not aware we have a fleeting thought before we have a feeling. Feelings do not come all by themselves. But we are not aware of the thought that comes first. Feelings are so powerful that they block out the fleeting thought. The truth that the thought comes first is the basis for the Original Lie I teach about, and that, once discovered and destroyed will set you free.
Feelings can never be healed. They can only be released and so give us a measure of peace for a time. But it is the thought patterns we need to heal in order for us to be free. While ever the thoughts are not healed, they cause the feelings to return in all their painfulness. The thoughts lie dormant until they are triggered by a word spoken or an experience happens that brings a thought up, followed by intense feelings. Then we have an action or a reaction. But it is always a thought that is triggered. Thoughts can lie dormant for weeks, months, even years. but while ever the Original Lie is unhealed, a trigger will happen sooner or later, and the process will begin. Once the process begins, we are no longer in control This ugly Original Lie is and we are unable to control our actions or reactions.
The triggers usually happen in relationship, but can be triggered by a movie or book depicting an experience we have had that has damaged us. I went to see the movie Black Swan and did not realise what would happen to me. The mother’s control and abuse, and the early stages of the mental illness she experienced were so like the illness I experienced, even to the same place on the back of her shoulder she would scratch raw. I was so triggered by the movie, I went home and sat in a chair in the dark for hours and could not move. I could not ring anyone or do anything to relieve the overwhelming feelings. I just had to wait for the pain to pass.
Triggers can also come if we see something that brings up a powerful memory in us. I was out for dinner one night with a family I had not met before. The relationship between the father, mother and teenage son was so beautiful, I was massively triggered because I had such a dysfunctional childhood. I could not stay in the room and watch. I had to leave. I could not explain myself. I just left. I wrote them a letter the next day of apology and explanation. But once triggered, my behaviour was beyond my control. This is how strong the power of the Original Lie is once it is triggered and in control. And at the time of Black Swan and this dinner, I was probably ninety percent healed. But they were isolated instances and a few years apart.
Are you aware of instances like these where you have been triggered and not in control of your reactions? When I am talking to people face to face about the Original Lie, I ask them to write down any reaction or actions they had recently experienced where they were no longer in control. Please write them down so we can look at them later.