Even From Conception

I had three children in my first marriage, a daughter, then a son, and then another daughter. But my older daughter always perplexed me. She was so different to me. My son and second daughter were like me and so I could relate to them and love them. But because the older girl was so different, I found her difficult to love.

One day I heard the Lord say to me, “Write down everything that happened in your pregnancy with her.” I was amazed. My pregnancy with her was so different to the other two children, even from before conception. I had lost two pregnancies before I conceived her. A young married woman trying to have a baby and I have lost my first two attempts. Because of the abuse I had suffered and the Original Lie I had within me, I became very fearful that I would never carry a baby full term. I only weighed 38 kilos and was very fragile. The loss of the first two had made me more fragile in both physical and emotional areas. And my husband was demanding a child. I had to produce.

Then I conceived for the third time. I made the decision myself to go into bed rest completely for five months. I desperately wanted to carry this child. But again I was so sick with morning sickness which lasted all day every day. I did survive and reached the sixth and seventh month of pregnancy safely and I was able to have a normal couple of months as the sickness had stopped. But at the end of these two months I contracted Pre eclampsia, a horrible thing which can kill both mother and baby at birth. In order to try to keep my blood pressure from climbing too high, it was back to total bed rest and no alcohol. This did not bother me as I have never been a drinker because of my mother’s alcoholism.

But I did not realise I was going into a time where the baby I was carrying would be damaged in her soul and her spirit because of circumstances beyond my control. I had not realised that a baby can have an Original Lie planted in her in the womb. But of course the baby in the womb is affected by sounds and feelings and reactions from her mother. And by words. And the anxiety behind the words. She does hear and feel and experience even in the womb. She knows the sound of her mothers voice. I did use these months in bed to make hand embroidered clothes for her. There was a lot of love sent her way. She was wanted and prepared for as happily as I was able to do so.

But she was in a situation where she realised she was in danger and it was to get worse. At the time where the baby’s head is to engage in the neck of the womb ready for delivery, she would not engage. The doctor had to manually turn her into the correct position. She would not stay. The Lord showed me this was where the most damage was to take place. Can you imagine a tiny baby, alone in a supposedly safe place, having this external force move you into a place you did not want to be. This was in 1965. There were no scans available to show what may be wrong. But she knew what was wrong. She was fighting for her life. She knew she would die if she was forced into the birth position. She had the cord around her neck and every time the doctor moved her into the right position, she was struggling to breathe. She would have died in the birth process. She knew this but the doctor had no way of knowing.

The Lord showed me this started the Original Lie in her. She felt alone, in danger, with no help, and in fact deliberate force to keep placing her in danger. She was fighting for her life on her own. A baby in the womb has a spirit and a soul right from conception and hers was being damaged. She came out of the womb with an Original Lie that said that the world was not a safe place and that she could only ever be able to trust in herself. That there was no help anywhere and she would have to be strong to survive. Lucifer will attack even the baby in the womb with this insidious Lie. More to come.

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