A tiny baby damaged

The damage to my first baby girl continued. The doctor eventually got her to stay in the birth canal opening but upside down. This meant for both of us a much longer, 32 hours, delivery, much more painful and more dangerous. When she was finally born, after a forced beginning of labour before the natural process was allowed to start, I got one quick hold of her then she was taken into a humidicrib because of the trauma she had suffered and because of the cord being around her neck when she was born. More damage. We were not able to bond at all. She was again alone fighting every new experience. I believe in those days, 1965, the doctors and nurses were not aware of the need for a mother and baby to bond. The babies were kept in a nursery and only came out for feeding. I did not see her again for 48 hours. More abandonment. And I was getting frantic as I thought there must have been something wrong with her that they were not telling me about. Also fathers were not allowed in the delivery room.

And the damage still continued. The nursery was full of conjunctivitis and she picked it up. She did not open her eyes for six weeks after birth. I did not even know what colour her eyes were. They were the most beautiful deep blue. She was a very beautiful baby. But her tear ducts were blocked and her eyes watered continually. She had to go and have them probed with a needle when she was 6 months old. I was not allowed to be with her. I had to sit in the waiting room and listen to her scream. Of course they had to hold her down. More damage for this tiny life.

The severe circumstances of my pregnancy and the birth process, the months of bed rest, had also damaged me physically. I was left very weak and sick for 6 months after. And left in extreme pain because of a doctor who had been in the yacht club drinking all Sunday afternoon, Samantha was born at 8pm on the Sunday night, and, I believe, should not have done such a complicated delivery. He cut me too deeply at the time of delivery and scared me physically for life. For 6 months after the birth I was in such pain, I could not bond with my daughter. Then, when she was 12 weeks old, I came down with pleurisy and lost my milk immediately because of the high temperature. The one bonding we could do as mother and daughter was taken from her and I believe this was the severest damage.

Next time how the Lord has shown me how this affected her.

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